Baskets

Dont worry your silly basket case brain.
Not one bitter heart is the same as another. The past shows you nothing is impossible to overcome.
The future is where you are, now..
Now… Now.
So keep with it.
Steady the hardship sailing.
Your scars are deep, and your heart is grand, dont leave your loneliness in someone elses hand.
You have two for a reason.
Hold yourself together.
There are moments that feel like a re-run, a bit of de javu, an inkling that you have been here before.
Grab your other hand and hold yourself together, its life repeating making sure youve still got what you overcame.
Its never the same, not one bitter heart.
Dont let that scare you.
There are millions, and at times you are the cherry on top.
But never for long.
Forget the what abouts and grab here i go.
Let yourself run free
Because all you have is the future, which is now.. And now and now.

Welcome to the future.
Youve been here all along,
so may you happily and cherishly carry on.
Happily? Yes.
Dont leave your happiness with a bitter heart, not one is ever the same.
If you stay on course you will never carry a new lesson from the past.
Strengthen the soul, charge thru the repeats; courage keeper.
Break the hand you once held and keep to your own, steal that light back, dont lose focus, keep on track.
You can keep the happy times in a lock box inside your safe, just for good measure; not every accident is worth the risk of pulling over for a look, but there is always something to witness.
See yourself,
Recall your purpose in that short-changed romance.
Attitude-reality check.
Sub to Con.
You were you in times,
Those were great.
Keep it and keep going
Scattered thoughts and moments of silence, serenity and numbness.
A spiral to a tornado to a piece of paper on your face. Dont smoke that with him, you knew that already.
But some history happens for future to fall into place.
Keep reminiscing, the exhaustion of two people and two years bulging from your skull.
Deer in headlights while in some scenes of recall.
Keep going keep going.
Let the seconds slip by till you see the light.
You are gifted, dont you remember?
You can still see the moon from hell, cant you?
If you dont…
Happy Halloween..
History will repeat, the ghosts of your past in a new costume..
What princess were you again as a child?
Belle?
Ahh Beauty and the Beast, how fitting. Now fix your crown your majesty, the queen of sun and rain.
Trick? or Treat?

Treat.
Prove to yourself that youve got it again this time around.
Prevail.
Hold yourself together.
You will live for so much more if you let go of the fact that you cant have that time back and just let that head roll.
Allow this awareness of yourself push you and carry that damn lesson like an award, even if the pain still sticks in your side like a shard of metal, a bloody thorn.
He never gave you one single rose, please dont let this bittersweet nothing, hurt you anymore.
A bunch of good for nothing copy n paste.

Sugar me sweet and dearly.
Do you; dolo in your dreams though carrying and being held by your world.
Like the cowardly lion who forgot he always had it in him to conquer and be courageous, until a bit of magic reminded him he was alive..
You have to remember who you are and build a bridge over that hole in your heart.
Give it a moat, an alligator or two.
He will still try to down bunker in it,
So then grab yourself a torch and toss a grenade as you wave goodbye, these small flames of regret will ignite the power inside.
Nothing quite like walking away from an explosion unharmed..
Walking back into your castle, carrying your new basket full of grace.

Mummies a lion
RAWR!!

Sacred

The only thing i can count on
The only thing that is real
My one and only everything

It was an awakening
Giving birth to him
A soul inside of a soul
Him inside of me
Reaching the outside
becoming a being of reality
A soul inside of a soul
The start of his existence
Was inside of me
I held him
I fed him
He fed from me
He kept safe inside
Surrounding him for months
Encased in my organ
He reached the surface
He grew
He grows
Hes no longer in my body
But he is encased in another organ of mine
He is my pericardium

My love for him, it grows
When he became, i never thought i could love someone so much.
But i was wrong
I love him more and more everyday
As if he still resides inside of me
He is the only love ive ever really known
I cherish this love
Its something different than that l.o.v.e
You tend to see plastered on birthday cards and valentines.
Its that feeling that hurricanes in your stomach and rains from your eyes.
Jet packing through my mind.
Pulsating from bones.
That love you see in grandparents who made it through it all.
Hallelujah
It does exist.
It came from within
It grows inside of me just as he did

I was awakened when i gave birth to him
A soul within a soul.
Not just his inside of mine
But a level of me that seemed to manifest from a wormhole in my blood.
I had become aware of many feelings i had never felt before; that was just the beginning.

I was kissing him goodnight
He said mummies going to work
His breathing changed and his smile dwindled.
I felt a bullet try to penetrate my heart repeatedly.
But with love comes love
And i explained to him why i work and that he will be with daddy in the morning.
He said mummie no sad as he opened his heart to pull me in.
He then took my hand from his face,
I was still breathing his cheek in
And he kissed it.
I lost it on the inside as i often do in moments like these. As he and i are
As love is
I wanted to pour my heart out,
But he wouldnt understand yet.
Not verbally
So i looked at him as i faught tears and said there is nothing more that i want is to be with you always. I miss you anytime i am not with you and you Cameron, are the reason why mummie is always happy. I will never leave you for long. Never gone for long. I thought to myself that i will say this to him whenever i need to leave. Never gone for long.
I wouldnt believe you if you were telling me this, but my son had been playing with my hands while i was talking with him and i didnt realize what he was trying to do until he pulled my other hand out from behind him and kissed it.
He had made sure both my hands were kissed.
He is magic like you wouldnt believe
He pulled me in for another hug.
I tried to stay forever but he pushed me away to find the tag on his puppy pillow
A comforting mannerism.
I did the same as a child but it was a puff n fluff bunny bear.
It never left my side.
I never want my son to leave my side

He is my sacred place.
The only thing i truly know exists in this life
My insides held him
Grew him
Birthed him
I keep him inside
He surrounds my heart,
The muscles that carries me.
Hes less than 30 lbs and about two feet tall.
That my dear is something to see
Something to feel.
A mother
To my son
This is my extraordinary reason

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